Alone But Not Lonely

In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness, or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. So sometimes we try and seek out a romantic partner to fill that void, when that might not be the best solution.

Understanding solitude

Solitude does not have to alienating, or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate. You can enjoy time by yourself; read a book, run a bath, apply a lip scrub and just enjoy your own company for an evening.

The death of a loved one, or the inability to find people who understand you, can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions”. It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or you are physically alone.

Finding distractions

We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. But what is the point in that? You could spend your time doing something else instead; like watching a television programme you love, or reading a book.

Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level, than risk feeling like an outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?

Embrace the silence

Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of us. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and the peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It has therefore become easier to make important decisions, as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.

Get in touch with yourself, so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply reacting to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself, instead of trying to fill it with somebody, anybody. Because you, and they, deserve better than that.

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