Ah, romance, that wonderful and exciting feeling. So intense, such a high, but so fleeting and so often for so many once gone it never returns. But does it have to be that way? Can we intentionally create and sustain more romance in our lives?
Most people say they want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal in itself. Or at least high on peoples’ list of goals for their relationship.
But if having romance is a highly prized goal and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?
The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart and grows outwards, and is, to a degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself (and your friends) first, you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with a lover more easily.
Romance also flourishes by forging a connection. You can do this by spend time time together. Think about what you both enjoy (it could be anything, from hiking up a mountain, to doing a quiz together) and then block out some time to do it together.
Loving yourself first
Your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship. This means that self love is paramount if you want to increase the romance in your life.
True romance isn’t just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.
Making more romance
So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don’t love yourself first, you can’t truly love another.
It is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. First, you need to create romance within, then you’ll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.
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